Confessions of a Bad Boy Professor

She's way too innocent for me and I know it—and I should leave it that. If I knew what was good for me I would. But fu%$ it. I rarely go with what's good for me, which is why I'm sitting on a goddamn bar stool when I should be back at Penn State, grading papers. I don't normally stay for a drink after a gig—and I really need to give this shit up—but tonight, I don't know, there's just something about the birthday girl that's throwing me off. I should leave. I'm a psych professor, for Christ's sakes. Ever hear of code of conduct? Yeah, well I'm violating every rule I promised to uphold—which is why I can't act on my urges, right? Then again, they don't call me Professor Bad Boy because I'm...you know...good.