Rules of Engagement

We, the undersigned, confined to spinsterhood through no fault of our own, hereby declare to guide our beloved niece Eliza Merriweather through the upcoming season and secure for her one, if not several, offers of marriage. We vow to consult the magnificent handbook Rules Of Engagement and follow its advice to the letter.

Our mission will be difficult, for Eliza is a very independent-minded young woman and a worthy adversary. Already she has hatched a scheme of her own and persuaded Magnus MacKinnon, possessor of mesmerizing silver eyes and a shockingly sexy brogue, to play the role of attentive suitor. But with our help, it is only a matter of time before their "pretend" affections blossom into the real thing.

And so we pledge to remain steadfast and to accept nothing less than complete victory: our dearest Eliza walking hand in hand down the aisle with Magnus MacKinnon.

With true hearts and strong purpose,
The Ladies Letitia and Viola Featherton

(88,000 words)